New and improved Church of Satan

This isn't your mom and dads church of satan , this is the new and improved , hip and cool satanic church for 2015. even if you like dubstep &skinny jeans

[08/25/16]   Now the church of satan is usually mad dope busy , and doesnt post a lot because were doing mega super cool things , but I just wanted to address everyone that comes here and posts from groups with "illuminati" in their name. see ,we worship REGULAR RED SKINNED AND MUSCULAR SATAN here,were not here to help your groups illuminate a area with light or whatever, but everyone else, thanks for stopping by and HAIL SATAN

[03/19/16]   easter is right around the corner, and whether or not your a believer in the easter bunny rising from his cave to give mankind cadberry eggs or whatever I hope all the followers of the devil have a great one full of big ol ti***es and banging and stuff

[02/14/16]   valentines day is here , so make sure to make sweet homosexual or heterosexual love to the person you care about , and after that be sure to praise your dark lord satan that will rule earth and overthrow heaven in the upcoming dark days 02/05/2016

Italian Actor Raphael Schumacher Brain Dead After Stage Hanging Scene Gone Wrong

Dont they mean FORMER actor? A female spectator ran to Schumacher's aid when she realized the rope around his neck was too tight and that he was actually being strangled

[02/02/16]   Another great day in hell, not too humid and stan the cable internet guy came and upgraded our speeds to 500 meg a second, so we can watch netflix while torturing souls with our pitchforks and flames. Hail Satan!

[02/02/16]   I'd like to welcome all our new friends from deepest darkest africa that like this page worshipping our sweet satan from hell. We are doing our best to do something about the aids virus from all the non stop rapes down there. I mean for f***s sake stop all that fu***ng ra**ng. theres not any ra**ng in hell, its too humid.but seriously. stop ra**ng one another.

[01/10/16]   Tonights powerball is over 800 million, remember our dark lord satan might let you win if you hurry up and sell your soul

[12/23/15]   I'd like to read a passage from the satanic bible " All ye who enter satans backyard be welcome in satans sweet hot tub even if ye are fat or just generally dumb looking"

[12/23/15]   Official Star Wars: Awakening by Force SATANIC REVIEW

No spoilers. Satan isn't a do**he like some people.
Jesus would give spoilers. Allah probably would too. Because they are KNOW IT ALLS!


My review of "Star Wars with a black guy"

It was okay.
The tall guy from HBO's "Girls" is the villain.
I watched him f**k Lena Dunham too many times to take him seriously as a SITH LORD

I watched a cam of it. It looked like VHS on a TV that's not working quite right.

so yeah...watching it in sh*tty quality on a bad TV is how I watched them in the 80's
Thus making it a more pure Star Wars experience.

the end

[12/10/15]   visit our new location at bueno vista park in san francisco , dont gets from the homos , unless you want to waste your one wish on the magic johnson aids serum

[10/13/15]   Billy writes :
" dear church of satan, do kid touchers go to hell? and what is hell like for them if they do go?"

Billy , thanks for the letter, yes kid touchers go to hell, but it isnt the really cool part of hell like normal sinners go to, they go to the side of hell where its pretty much flames, screaming , and a box of p**n with a lock on it, that they can never get unlocked.

[09/30/15]   welcome all ye who enter here, this is a place for everyone interested in how cool it is to worship the devil thru slayer music , and stay up really late, put off doing your homework and chores, not listen to your parents and shop at hot topic every weekend.and other stuff I haven't thought of yet



anything your heart desires



11 Buena Vista Ave E
San Francisco, CA
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