Hope Ahead Ministries

Giving Hope, Help and Community to Christian women after sexual abuse

Chapter 13- Sexual Intimacy

From Chapter 11 & 12 in Hope Ahead.
IF there is BOTH Forgiveness (for sin) and Repentance (for sin), THEN there MIGHT be a chance for Reconciled relationship. There doesn’t HAVE to be relationship, but there is a chance for relationship.

Chapter 12- Doing Forgiveness

Chapter 11 summary-Forgiveness

Chapter 10summary

[04/01/20]   We will be live at 6 pm! Chapter 8- Baggage Handling

[01/13/20]   Upcoming classes- Hope Ahead, Shame Interrupted and Financial Peace University

Hope Ahead
Wednesday evenings, Thursday mornings, Friday afternoons

Wednesdays 6-8 pm
Starting February 5, 2020
Hope Church
4710 Juan Tabo NE (near Montgomery)
Class free, Book $24

Thursdays 9:30-11:30 am
Starting February 6, 2020
NM Baptist Foundation
2511 Wyoming NE (near Menaul)
Class free, Book $24

Fridays 2:30-4 pm
Starting January 17, 2020
New Beginnings Church
Carlisle and Montgomery
Sandra Astorga and Pamela Sandoval leading
Class free, Book $10

Shame Interrupted Class

Shame Interrupted by Ed Welch
15-week book study
Led by Sara Ghormley & Melanie Meis
When: Thursdays, 9:30 am starting January 23, 2020
Where: Piru Clubhouse - 12300 Piru Blvd (close to Juan Tabo & Central)
Albuquerque, NM 87123
$15 for a book (no charge if you already have your own)
Contact: Sara Ghormley at [email protected]
Please email Sara as soon as possible if you plan to attend and if you need a book so we can order them

Financial Peace University

Based on the Program by Dave Ramsey
10-week group study on Principles of Money Management and Budgeting
Led by Mary and John Paas
Contact Mary for location: 702-797-0635 cell
Or [email protected]
Workbook is $15, there are some scholarships available for the rest of the cost. ($125)

tohopeahead.org

We had another fantastic retreat in October! 26 women came with open hearts and fast pens to learn new principles and effective tools on their healing journey. We shared great food (soups, salads, and a feast to celebrate forgiveness!)! Another of Barb’s friends from Canada came, and she was a wonderful addition to our group.

Thanks to the generosity of many women, we offered 8 scholarships. 😀 God bless those women who loved strangers.

Our next 3-day retreat will be the end of April, 2020. Make plans now for your out-of-state friends and family!

For Info, go to hopeahead.org/retreats

tohopeahead.org

[07/19/19]   Great class coming up! We recommend this one, led by former Hope Ahead students!

Shame Interrupted by Ed Welch
16-week book study
Led by Sara Ghormley & Melanie Meis
When: Thursdays, 9:30 am beginning on August 1
Where: Piru Clubhouse - 12300 Piru Blvd (close to Juan Tabo & Central) .
Albuquerque, NM 87123
Cost: $15 for a book (no charge if you already have your own)
Contact: Sara Ghormley at [email protected]
Please let us know if you plan to attend and if you need a book so we can get them ordered.

[04/30/19]   Barb and Cris are looking forward to meeting God’s girls at the Summer Hope Ahead classes.
starting May 15 (Wednesdays) at 6 pm at North Church, San Mateo,
or
Thursday mornings 9:30 am at NM Baptist Foundation, 2511 Wyoming NE.
Book available at class- $24

Conquer the “junk in your trunk!” (Not your weight!)

Truly life-changing...

Introducing: Hope Ahead, a 14-week class to help women find Freedom and Hope and grow in their walk with God. For women who are hurting, women who want to help, women who need a boost, and women who want Hope. Sign up at https://buff.ly/2trXN5D

[04/10/19]   Upcoming Hope Ahead classes:

Wednesday nights
Starts May 15
North Church, San Mateo near Del Norte High School
6-8 pm
14 weeks
Materials: Hope Ahead book $24, available at class

Thursday mornings
Starting May 16
9:30-11:30 am
NM Baptist Foundation
2511 Wyoming NE
14 weeks
Materials: Hope Ahead book, $24, available at class

Written to help women heal from past pain, abuse, trauma and any Big Bad- betrayal, abandonment, divorce, abuse, even sexual abuse. Practical tools, life-giving truths and Bible wisdom give you help for change and hope for living. Connect with other women in ways you didn’t think possible. Find your best life in only 14 weeks!

Pre-registration not needed. Any questions, email [email protected].

Barb teaching the final chapter of Hope Ahead- on daily living in Freedom!

Listening intently to our speakers!
Hope Awaits Retreat this weekend.
Life-changing 3 days, 4 guest speakers, good food, and we covered all 14 chapters of #hopeaheadbook. Well done ladies! #hopeawaitsretreat

[01/03/19]   Happy New Year!! And class schedule

Barb and I know that the women who have been through Hope Ahead--who are working toward Freedom from the past--can look forward to the new year with more confidence than before! Hope grows as you trust the Hope Giver! Keep going, and you will find the abundant life God has for you.

Upcoming classes:

Eastside

Barb and I will finish a semester (starting with Chapter 10)
Wednesday nights 6-8 pm
January 9, done February 6
Hope Church on Juan Tabo near Spain
Book $24

Central ABQ

Vivian Griego- Hope Ahead
contact info-265-2130
Wednesday nights 7-8:30 pm
New Beginnings Church
Montgomery and Carlisle
Book- reduced, subsidized cost

Bosque Farms/ Valencia County

Laura Rosecrans and Sue Demers- Hope Ahead
contact info- 505-730-3818
1st Baptist Church Bosque Farms
Tuesday nights, starting January 22, 2019
6:30-8:30 pm
Book- $24

East Mountains

Shame Interrupted (by Ed Welch)

Sara Ghormley and Elizabeth Allen
Thursdays 6:30-8L30 pm
Starting January 17, 2019
Mountain Christian Church
12242 N. 14, Cedar Crest
Cost $16, scholarships available
contact Elizabeth-- [email protected] by Jan. 11 to order a book or inquire about scholarships.

Class Description:
Have you ever felt like you don't fit in, that you aren't good enough, that everyone else has it together while to struggle to even show up? If so, we invite you to join us. We want to introduce you to God who lifts the pain of worthlessness and rejection! Class is 16 weeks.

Something for everyone. Come for the first time, come for a refresher, invite a friend! The journey of hope continues!

[10/07/18]   Fall Hope Ahead classes start next week!

Barb and Cris will lead 2 classes:

Wednesday nights- 6-8 pm
At Hope EV Free Church
4710 Juan Tabo NE

Class is free, book is $24

—OR—

Thursday mornings 9:30-11:30 am
At NM Baptist Foundation
2511 Wyoming NE

Class is free, book is $24.

Come for the first time, come for a refresher, come with a friend, come and get Hope!!

The REAL Conference

Barb shows us what happens when we build walls of protection around our hearts.

Barb demonstrating what happens when we build walls around our hearts.

Trent Shelton

change your approach to the hard times... a great encouragement!!

Your current situation is not your final destination. Drop a ❤️if you needed this message.

youtube.com

You will have many trials & sorrows

I just found this channel- women talking about living for Christ. Post a weekly video.
Return Repent and Be Renewed!

What Does Jesus Say...You will have many trials & sorrows Calling all prayer warriors: prayer request section New videos posted every Friday. Be sure to watc...

[06/25/18]   Hope Ahead class for Valencia County gals starts August 14!

Tuesdays 6:80-8:30 pm
1st Baptist Church Bosque Farms

books available at class $20
Contact Laura Rosecrans at 505-730-3818 for info or to RSVP

[06/25/18]   Summer classes going on now! 2 great groups of women learning there is Hope Ahead!

Wednesday nights- 6-8 pm
Hope EV Free Church
4710 Juan Tabo NE

Thursday mornings 9:30-11:30 am
NM Baptist Foundation Building
2511 Wyoming (between Menaul and Candelaria)

Classes are always open.
Come and bring a friend!

youtube.com

Reckless Love - with chords and lyrics (Bethel Music)

Don’t ever forget this- it’s all about Gods love for YOU.

Cory Asbury's Reckless Love is such an incredible tune. We're excited to share this little impromptu sound check session with you all. Hopefully it helps you...

[06/11/18]   Cris was in NYC when the news of Kate Spade's suicide was announced. This is her response:

The talk shows and newspapers all rehashed her final words and either tsk-tsk'ed or sympathized. 5th Avenue stores held banners with words of praise and farewell for her, and 2 days later, Anthony Bourdain. I read articles from people.com that commiserated, and one from an op-ed author who shared her own story of suicidal depression. One author said that suicide rates jump up when the media talks about "how to do it," but falls when the media emphasizes ways of coping, living through the temptation, and how common (and temporary) those feelings of hopeless and despair are.

This is my attempt to present a way through despair, and find life again.

In our Hope Ahead class, we meet a lot of women who are on the verge of suicide. Some are '1 inch away from it', and others just flirt with the idea.

Don't Go it Alone!

The people.com article I read said "Talking saves Lives! Talk about your struggle. If you just share; open up a little and admit you are having a hard time, you can get help." That is a core message of Hope Ahead- you need to talk! You need to go on your healing journey WITH SOMEONE!!

Change Your Thoughts

We get lost when our emotions take over. We can't find our way when we are chained by circumstances or pain or disappointment or rejection. We need someone to speak truth into our lives or encouragement into our heads. We need to be reminded of the GOOD THINGS about life. The GOOD or BAD parts of your life are often about focus--where do your thoughts dwell? If you focus on the bad stuff, you will be dragged down. But, if you can remind yourself every day of 10 THINGS TO BE THANKFUL FOR, or 5 GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED TODAY, your mood will be better.

Women need to be with other women, to get the good benefits of happy endorphins. (Our brain chemistry changes when we are around other women!) Or we need to hear that our struggle is common to women--that same thorn in our side has been through 20 other women, but it didn't kill them.

Care for Your Body!!

My friend Jennifer Smith wrote a book on Getting Free from Addictions, and on each day, for 40 days, she asks the reader to do something healthy or kind to their bodies. Few people get as much sleep as their body needs. Few people eat healthy, nourishing food that helps them work hard and live well. Does your body need quiet time to de-stress? Do you need to take naps, or stop drinking caffeine? Do you need to get a complete physical check-up, including blood sugar, thyroid and hormones (all of which hugely affect emotions and energy)? Sit or walk out in the sunshine for just 10 minutes a day.

Some women are super-sensitive to hormones, foods, or allergies, and end up being depressed because one of these problems is pounding their body and mind. We are all over-stressed, so what do you do to cut down your stress level and live with some "margin" at the end of the day? Can you cut out an activity that drains you, emotionally or physically? Can you say no to something that you dread?

Check the Med Side Effects

Do you need to change medication? Do you need to admit that the "magic pill" anti-depressant is causing you thoughts of suicide (a common side effect of the new anti-psychotic drugs)? Is it having a bad drug reaction with the other meds you've been on for 10-20 years? Only a patient, caring doctor can check this. Take a deep breath and make an appointment ASAP. If your doctor won't listen, find a new one today.

Talk to Someone

We often say in Hope Ahead, you don't have to be a professional to help a hurting woman. And if you're the hurting woman, you don't have to talk to a professional. You just need to TALK. Share as much of your story as you can without passing out or cutting yourself. You will be amazed at how many people can relate to your disappointment, pain, hopelessness and self-hatred. We have all been there.

Journal

If you don't trust anyone enough to admit you are suicidal, talk to yourself in a journal or a voice memo. BUT don't just rehash the same old grief, or pick at the old familiar wound. Go through some of the "detective style" questions sprinkled through the Hope Ahead book, and answer them as much as you can. But don't end on the pain/ abuse! End on a hopeful verse- Like 1 Cor. 10:13, or Phil. 4:4-8, or most of the Psalms.

Praise Music is Powerful

Listen to some Praise Music and say or sing the words out loud. (Hillsong, Passion, Bethel Church, or New Life Church in Colorado Springs, CO) Music can change your moods.

Give Up a Bad Habit

You KNOW deep inside that the alcohol is bad for you. But you like the buzz, or the escape or the strength it gives you. Realize that buzz, or freedom or release comes with a lot of BAD STUFF--addiction, helplessness, a BAD rebound, and a gripping cycle of drink to feel better, then drink to feel ok, then drink because you don't know what else to do. If it's a choice between killing yourself and checking into a REHAB, we all want you to check into the REHAB!! If you need someone to help you detox from drugs or alcohol, we all want to cheer you as you head there. You CANNOT IMAGINE the good life that you could have without alcohol or drugs, but I PROMISE YOU, it is there waiting. Yes, getting off drugs or alcohol will be hard--but only for a while. But God will be there to help you do it!! And you can do hard--you've done hard your whole life. This is doing hard to get to easier.

You may have a bad habit of not dealing with grief, disappointment or problems. If you escape from all stress by TV-watching or sleeping, you are less able to deal with stress.
Growing up means learning how to handle problems better and better. I'm not saying that you won't have any problems, or that you will be a whiz-kid at solving problems. I only mean that if you solve a problem, and it turns out to not be a great solution, you can do something different! Keep solving problems until you get good at it. It's like learning how to drive a shift car, or like learning how to roller skate. It's hard at first, then you get better. Don't beat yourself up for being low on the Learning Curve! Keep climbing. In Hope Ahead, we say, "Anything worth doing well is worth doing badly at first."

Give Up Wrong Thinking

One article about the suicides said something like, "We have these wrong ideas that life is going to be fair and easy, and that everyone will like us and support our dreams. When real life slams into our pretty world, everything crumbles into dust, and we start thinking about a way out." We have this unrealistic expectation that we should never have to deal with pain or hurt or mean people. We think everyone is going to live based on our boundaries and rules. It doesn't happen. People can be mean and cruel and selfish and uncaring. They can also be kind and patient and understanding. That is the REAL WORLD. You can learn ways to deal with mean people--like say NO! Like confront them. Like avoid them. Like break up with them. Like move to another town. But STOP expecting them to change so you can be happy.

This Pain is Temporary

Really. I know you don't believe me, but I've talked to hundreds and hundreds of women over the last 30 years in counseling, and they all say that--

"One day, I just felt less hopeless."
or
"I couldn't believe that when I got off birth-control pills, I didn't feel suicidal anymore."
or
"When I finally told my brother I didn't want to talk to him anymore, I felt like I had some control over my life."
or
"I realized I was focusing on all the bad stuff, and totally missing out on all the good stuff."
or
"I wanted God to fix me, but He was asking me to forgive. When I forgave, I was fixed."

If you stop waiting for other people to change, and put your energy toward making changes in how you talk and think and pray, you will change pretty fast!!

Physical Pain

I'm not an expert to talk about this, but I've read many stories about people who were in physical pain for years who chose suicide as the way out. I offer you the only solutions I know:

My friend Nancy Griggs, PT, wrote a book called Releasing Pain. It has very simple exercises and stretches for major pain like TN pain and acute lower back pain. I've done them--they helped when I was crawling on the floor because I couldn't stand up from stabbing Level 10 pain.

Acupressure and acupuncture are helpful. Bio-feedback too.

CBD oil and medical cannibis can be helpful, and are much easier to obtain every year. The good shops have on-staff nurses to identify problems. Be honest about your pain.

A Naturepathic doctor can identify issues at a cellular level, and address and treat problems that Western Medicine doctors would never see. Shiatsu massage may help. Tell them everything that's wrong with you--everything!

Prayer can relax tense muscles and tight limbs. Meditation is de-stressing and freeing.

If you know someone who is struggling with Depression or Suicidal Thoughts, don't just pray for them--CALL THEM!! Pursue them until you feel like they have their head above water. Help them solve problems. Take them somewhere so they can laugh again. Encourage their attempts. Cut through their lies and self-punishment if you can. Tell them how special they are in your life. Tell them they need to go to the doctor, or they need to slow down. Or just listen to them! A LOT.

Wherever You Stand Now

You can make a difference in someone's life- for eternity. Try.

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8888 Harper Dr NE
Albuquerque, NM
87111
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